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Child Custody Agreement

Put your parenting arrangement in writing, in the form a judge in your state can actually approve.

Find out where you stand — what state are you in?

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Introduction

A Child Custody Agreement is a written arrangement between two parents setting out where their child lives, how parenting time is divided, and who makes decisions about the child's health, education, and upbringing. It is often called a parenting agreement, a co-parenting plan, or a parenting plan, and in several states the statute uses a different name again. Parents use it when they separate, divorce, or were never married and want the arrangement recorded rather than left to memory. The important thing to understand at the outset is that this document is not self-executing. An agreement between parents takes effect as a custody order only when a court approves it and enters it. What differs, and differs sharply, is what your agreement does on the way to that order. In some states the fact that you agreed raises a presumption in your favor. In others the court must adopt what you filed unless it makes a specific finding against it. In at least one, agreeing changes nothing at all, and the judge reviews the arrangement from scratch. That is why a custody agreement is worth drafting against your own state's rules rather than from a generic form.

Key Things to Know

  1. 1

    An agreement between parents is not binding until a court approves it and makes it an order. Parents cannot privately contract away a court's authority over a child, and a judge who finds an arrangement is not in the child's best interests can refuse to approve it.

  2. 2

    What your agreement is worth depends on the state. Agreeing can raise a presumption in your favor, or oblige the court to adopt your plan unless it makes a contrary finding, or carry no special weight at all. In at least one state it leaves the arrangement easier to change than one a judge decided. The same signed document does different legal work in different places.

  3. 3

    The vocabulary changes at the state line. Texas assigns conservatorship and possession and access rather than custody and visitation. Florida uses time-sharing under a parenting plan. Colorado allocates parental responsibilities, Vermont uses parental rights and responsibilities, and Washington sets decision-making authority and a residential schedule inside a permanent parenting plan. Using the wrong words does not void an agreement, but matching the statute makes it easier to approve.

  4. 4

    Custody has two separate parts. Legal custody, sometimes called decision-making or legal responsibility, is the authority to decide about schooling, medical care, and religious upbringing. Physical custody is where the child actually lives. They can be held jointly or separately, and one does not follow automatically from the other.

  5. 5

    Several states prescribe what the document must contain. Requirements commonly include a residential or time-sharing schedule, an allocation of decision-making authority, a method for resolving future disputes, and provisions for holidays and travel. A court can decline to approve a plan that omits a required element.

  6. 6

    Child support is a separate calculation. It is not settled by a custody agreement. Keep the two questions apart, and do not assume a custody arrangement resolves support.

  7. 7

    Domestic violence changes the analysis. States treat it very differently, from a bar on shared decision-making, to a rebuttable presumption against sole or joint custody, to one factor among many. If there has been abuse, coercion, or a protective order, this is a situation to raise with a lawyer rather than resolve on a form.

Key Decisions

Custody and Decision-Making

Parenting Time

Practical Terms

Child Custody Agreement Requirements

  • The Parents and the Child

    Identify both parents and each child covered by the agreement, with dates of birth.

  • Court Approval Before the Agreement Binds

    Record that the arrangement is not binding until a court approves it and enters it as an order, and that parents cannot contract away a court's authority over a child.

  • Legal Custody and Decision-Making

    State whether authority over education, non-emergency medical and dental care, mental health treatment, and religious upbringing is held jointly or by one parent.

  • Physical Custody and the Residential Schedule

    Set out where the child lives on ordinary days, in enough detail to be entered and enforced as an order.

  • Holidays and School Breaks

    Allocate holidays, school breaks, and the child's birthday, and state whether the allocation alternates each year.

  • Exchanges and Transportation

    State where exchanges happen, who provides transportation, and what happens if a parent is late.

  • Communication and Access to Records

    Set out how the parents communicate about the child, how each parent contacts the child during the other's time, and each parent's access to school and medical records.

  • Notice of a Change of Residence

    State what notice a parent must give before changing the child's residence, and what the notice must contain.

  • Resolving Future Disputes

    Provide a step the parents will take, such as mediation, before either returns to court over a disagreement.

  • Modification Only Through the Court

    Record that changes are made by applying to the court and that a later private agreement between the parents does not alter an existing order.

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Frequently Asked Questions